I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
You had sex with a mute, how is that not funny
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
It's like I'm tryna ride my horse through dennis quaid’s vineyard
That's a sexy sentence
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
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