Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I pretty much told him I was too sober for this an just walked away and all I heard was "IT'S BECAUSE IM A BAD KISSER ISN'T IT" OVER AND OVER AGAIN
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I have fence marks all over my body
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
Randomize
