I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Im like a co-bf. he pays for her birthday and christmas, but i get all the action.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
I know what youre going to say and vodka only explains half of my sitation
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
I'm pretty sure my calc professer is on coke. He's just too excited for this to be an 8am class.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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