i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
i can recognize that vagina from a mile away
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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