why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
Randomize
