Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Katelyn drunkenly ripped the soap dispenser off the wall so we decided to call it quits
That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Terrible idea I love it
I like how I can go from sucking dick in the my basement to singing along to veggie tales with my family in a span of 10 minutes.
Randomize
