So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
Just had a random flashback of you tickling some guy's nipple with your claw ring, and then him moaning and stripping in the middle of the bar. You give good memories.
Valuable lesson learned: if you reach the point where you have to talk yourself in to finishing the last half of your beer, you shouldn't try.
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
Please tell me I was just dreaming when I asked if I could borrow your jesus dildo
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Randomize
