I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
Seriously, it was like sucking my thumb.. and im not even saying that to be spiteful b/c he is a really nice guy.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
my favorite part of the night was when I was in the bathroom frantically trying to get my cat whiskers and nose off to make hooking up less awkward
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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