ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
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