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i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
even your uterus rejects him.
apparently my uterus is the smartest part of my body.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
I'd say things got weird when I started doing lines of molly in the box.
The family next to you was not pleased
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
I bet, I woke up to you like naked at 4 in the morning shoving a sandwich in your face
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
Randomize
