I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He’s definitely circumcised. There’s not enough room in those speedos for a foreskin with that fire hose he’s packing.
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