Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
Holy shit, I just successfully took and sent a boob pic AT MY DESK I have conquered an entire new level of skill.
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
Randomize
