didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
Bring scissors.....i think im gonna have to be cut out of this damn jockstrap
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
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