I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
Boobs are out for the taking
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
Randomize
