it was all good till he told me to dance slow and quiet
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
Oh my god. I think I just sexted my mom...
What?!
Fwd: Ride me, you sleek sleek woman!!!
it was like having sex with a tree stump
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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