the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
He asked me where I wanted it. I told him in the condom. He stops mid thrust and says "you're no fun" and then blew. Chivalry is semi dead.
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
future-me showed up mid trip and gave us a thumbs up.
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
Randomize
