I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
It's okay, I found my phone in the toaster oven. Logical explanation: 5 martinis
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
