So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Oh you know, sitting here in my bathing suit watching antiques road show and petting the cat. Just the usual
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
Just laying in bed, snuggling my cat, and pondering whether I'd like to attend a swingers party this evening...
Why is there a trampoline for sale in my front yard?
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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