Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Turned the water balloon filler into a jungle juice fire extinguisher. Please call me tomorrow afternoon and make sure that i'm still alive.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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