I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
