ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
I joked that if anyone could fuck a 35 year old woman while wearing head bands and arm sweat bands it's you and look what happens.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
Randomize
