YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
Why were you not born a dude?
Because god wanted to level the playing field
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
Randomize
