24 hour fitness called offering me a free trial stating that you referred them to me. I told them you have been taking pics of naked guys in the locker room and selling them online.
That's not a bad idea, actually...
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Randomize
