is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
How naked do you want me to be?
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