hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Went to bed at 4 in a strangers bed. woke up wearing scrubs, realized i was gonna be late for work so i just wore the same clothes as the day before... i don't have a toothbrush and im pretty sure there is leftover semen in my mouth. at some point i think i was at the beach cuz theres is sand in my underwear. i love newport already.
You know its bad when you can over hear the planned parenthood nurses talking shit behind your back... they've seen everything
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
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