she looked like the before picture.
She tried to keep her legs crossed last night while doing a keg stand. Way to keep it classy.
There's a girl in my class named "La-a" pronouced "Luh Dash uh" I hate everyone
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
He has no idea he's waking up in slut palace tomorrow morning
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
He's petting your head, we need to leave now.
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