Pants 0. Shit 1.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
We got the idea to smoke under his bed because, and I quote, "it'd be just like going camping"
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
Our lady landlord called. Dot worry, I handled it. Drunk. Tell her it was Nate. Done. Good. Bye. Drunk.
If you call getting home safe by sprinting down Spanish Harlem barefoot still rolling then ya I made it
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
Final Summary: could he eat a lit sparkler? Probably. Could he do it while peeing off the roof? I'll tell you when you get to the ER.
Where are all your bongs? Your Dad wants to make sure they're put away before his family gets here.
Umm....in my room, on my closet, under the bed and behind my laptop.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
