there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
He just ordered a bottle of Beam at an Italian place for us to share.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
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