We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
