i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
If there's anything else you're planning on stealing from me, please let me know so I can set it on fire
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
