despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Ugh..Yesterday was a complete alcohol fueled shit show. Not making eye contact with anyone today. Don't deserve it. Eye contact is for decent people.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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