They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
The foreigner finally woke up and the first thing he did was look up a map of the u.s. His destination is to pennsylvania.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
