He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I told my mom happy mother's day then rubbed my belly and said "Oh, and happy grandmother's day too..." She started sobbing. You were right, that wasn't the best way to tell her.
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
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