Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
I HAVE A GENTLEMANLY VAGINA.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
