I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He's hot though. It's not like he JUST got out of prison. That was like months ago
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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