We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
it was better than the time i puked and I forgot to open the lid of the toilet
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
We found you in the middle of the road chucking gravel because "the house was too far away".
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
Adulthood is making your own puke bucket.
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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