I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Randomize
