Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
that is very illegal...i love you.
Randomize
