yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
So this guy is eyeing me from across the bar. Either the girl I hit on next to him is his girlfriend or he's her gay best friend. I should show him my Penis and find out.
Dude. Do it.
Definitely her date. But she saw it too. So now he used to be her date. Why can't this stuff Happen when I'm sober?
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize