i was born a porn star she said
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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