just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
Opened my wallet to find a slice of ham with a phone number written on it in sharpie.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
I had sex in the back of a hot foreign guy with a lacoste eye patch's car
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Woke up with a girls naked next to me I had her thong on somehow.
Randomize
