Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
He gave me twenty cool ranch tacos and declared, drunk, " Look, I do good"
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
