dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So... I'm really sorry I tried to sell you to random people in cars last night
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
He kept squeezing my butt and telling me how smart I was
He showed up on school grounds wearing nothing but a suit of armor. Really at this point I'm more impressed than angry.
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
Randomize