It's always a relief to be able to look at some one, and remind yourself that there IS some one who gets laid less then yourself.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
I can not say for certain that I did not blow someone in the bathroom at the bar at some point.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
Randomize
