Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
its a vaginal recession for me, ill take what i can get
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
alright. I just need to set some ground rules, no lighting me on fire, and no broken bones. fair?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
It feels appropriate that the wallet of my high school and college years would die at the hands of a spilled bong. Which in and of itself is a solid metaphor for those years.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
