I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
