is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
Turned in a paper today on drug abuse. Chose to write about percocet. Just realized I started 2 sentences with "This amazing drug"
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
how was it?
he was petting the bushes because they were "napkins"
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
I will go to bed dreaming of sexy Olympians carting me on a throne to the beach where they feed me pizza and champaign and massage my head/wash it like the hair dresser does.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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