I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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