Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Chick stood right next to me in the elevator. Like she had the whole elevator and she stood right next to me. So I farted.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Randomize
