Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
A university police officer just hhigh fived me when i drunkenly stumbled into Aderhold. Fucking 5 o'clock somewhere.ITS IN CASABLANCA RIGHT NOW! TIME ZONES!
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
