I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I need to be her Aladdin, and show her the world. The sex world.
If you can give me an orgasm, you'll get a trophy.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
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