Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
Randomize
