Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
my dad just told me he found me on the kitchen floor saturday morning with a microwave dinner on top of me, fork still in hand. priceless
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
So it's official the pockets of my work apron exist solely for the purpose of secretly flipping off asshole customers and not losing my job.
Randomize