Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
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