when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
No one should ever have to Neosporin their nipples. At least he apologized.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
