How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
just walked out of chelsea's house and saw cameron slapping his dick against her car. cant even make this shit up if i tried.
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
Gonna open a taco bell in colorado. Millions bro.
Some toppless girl just walked past me in the hall and gave me half a carton of smokes. I have never been more aroused.
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
i was making a gravity bong in my room and my dad walked in. he helped me finish. i love being home for the holidays.
Randomize