Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize
