Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
Randomize
