The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
Masterbating to gospel music is like god cheering on your orgasm
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I love how u said nothing about the sidewalk sex but refused shower sex
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Randomize
