we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Randomize
