I just threw up on my dentist
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Dude a guy just showed up with alcohol and a bag of double cheese burgers. I think I found my future husband.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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