I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Memory from last night that just came back: me forcibly jacking him off while he yelled I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS I DONT LIKE HANDJOBS
There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
She just texted me saying "come over and eat me out, my vagina smells like honey glazed ham." I know I shouldn't be, but i'm just so curious.
Randomize
