I made my friend ***** cry when I wouldn't let her call u for an orgy at 3am...I didn't think you'd be to happy being woke up
Dude, Her having kids just means she puts out.
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
she asked me which thongs i though her boyfriend would like best. fuck the friend zone
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
What has my life come to that I have to spank someone in morse code?
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
