I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
we should paint friendship bongs
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
Randomize
