if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Randomize
