Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I know. I told you I'm a mess. She had weird nipples. I almost lost an eye to one.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
