About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Randomize