is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
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