Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
I mean we all knew i was gonna get arrested eventually but shoplifting is lame so dont tell anyone. Well just let them assume public nudity or something
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
