Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
it's my favorite when the couple downstairs are having sex so loud that i feel like I'm part of a threesome
second-hand sex is fun, isn't it?
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
