Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
dude my little brother busts into my room last night and yells did you know that grandma is hiding scrambled eggs between her legs
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Seriously he's so hot. And it's so hard to flirt with a deaf guy
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
I just bid on a $9000 car because I think its my ex-girlfriends. Yes I wanna hit that again.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
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