So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
Is it because I queefed?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I hope, cuz I was gunna get "celebritory drunk" but now I have to get "I'm disappointed drunk"
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
Pants are for mortals
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
