Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
there was a party in your bed and you weren't invited... change your sheets
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
Randomize
