i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
We need to make tonight low-budget
Is this your way of suggesting flasks?
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
It took me years of patience and pilates and yoga and flirting to land that penis. So yeah, I’m going to ride it into the sunset and live orgasmically ever after
Randomize
