i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
I was about to google "rabies and sexual activity." Then I realized I was at work.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
Based on the conversation I'm going to assume you didn't close the deal.
It started going awry when I fell through a roof.
I can't go to Fassler and not immediately think about you licking a guys wife's butthole in the family restroom
Randomize
