batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
He has started theming his dick pics. I have one he sent his duck has a sombrero on. Another a Barbie is riding it.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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