i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
Also I legit had a girl at my bar crying tonight saying to her friend "why did he have to take his top off ?"
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
whatever. i just wanna get "forget my own name" wasted
no. you need to know your name so people know where to return you when you get lost.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize