I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
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