I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
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