Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
His hands were made for my vagina.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
I literally heard an 'oh my god' when the shirtless Tongan appeared.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Randomize
