I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
